Everyone has a story

Don't they, though?

When you think about it, every person grew up in a distinct setting. Some people came from really great homes, and some didn't. Some people knew they'd go to college when they were ten, since their parents never really gave them the choice. Some people knew they'd never go to college when they were ten, since their parents were never able to provide that option.

Some people were born with mental disorders. Others walk through life with a sense of belonging. Some people have been really, really burned in relationships, while others have known little emotional pain throughout the course of their lives.

Some have been through many marriages, and some fear that they will die single. Some marry the girl next door, who has been their best friend since the second grade. And they even live happily ever after. Some don't even believe in "happily ever after".

I'm throwing out a lot of examples because I'm trying to really illustrate what seems to be such a simple idea: "Judging other people is wrong."

The other day I found out a lot about various coworkers. I realized that one of my coworkers, who I always viewed as a snotty bitch, actually got kicked out of her house by her own father, and was living in her car while she was a full-time student and balancing a part-time job. How much of a douche bag would I be to my coworkers that day because of my negative attitude? Probably a pretty big one. Hell, I got scammed out of 150 bucks the other day and was a walking attitude for 12 hours straight. My cross was lighter, and I bitched the whole way.

It's something everybody "learns" in kindergarten. "Learns". But it's something nobody can learn until they've lived with themselves long enough to know their flaws. To be able to recall one's own failures while still remembering the purity of his/her heart in those moments is a skill that everyone should have. Truth be told, we all came out of the womb innocent little creatures. Then the world took us all on our own journeys. And now we're here. Together. Interacting. Communicating. See potential for...just about anything? Homo sapiens are a quick-script, and that can get tricky.

I feel like I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. Could be that I'm just being my over-sensitive, over-analytical self, but I sincerely believe that I'm getting mistreated a lot lately. I've been getting the raw end of the deal in life, and I have gone without complaining about it. And, more importantly, without melting down. Though I've come to learn that there are two things that are always the worst possible choices: complaining, and worrying. Both of those activities, in the last 21 years, have become large parts of my day-to-day. As I consciously decide to keep quiet when I feel like complaining and ignore the worry when it comes, I'm becoming more comfortable, and more free.

Basically, I'm learning to see myself in every person. When other people make errors, I imagine how many times I've fucked up before, sometimes in the exact same way. And I've fucked up; trust me.

But I think that's what it takes to really stop judging people. I've got to understand that people are far from perfect. We're freaking animals with an extra pound of brain matter. Besides, to err is human after all.

So yeah - all I'm trying to say is, I'm learning to stop taking every single thing personally, and to starting forgiving myself and other people. And that's the learning type of learning - which is my comfort. Knowing that I'm learning and getting stronger, not just fucking up, makes me feel better when I feel like things are shitty. And little else anymore.

So that's why I wrote. :-)